Pranks and Double Negatives
by Princess Leasha
Summary: The Weasley twins and Alexis are up to their usual pranking mischief and manage to find McGonagall's weak spot.


_Hi guys! __This was just an idea I got at work today after getting permission from my boss to run customers over with trolleys for using double negatives. The twins friend in this story is from my fic 'Playing with Dragons', so if you want some more on her feel free to head over and read that, but without further ado, this is "Pranks and Double Negatives". Enjoy!_

Pranks and Double Negatives

It was well known to all Hogwarts students that the Weasley twins, Fred and George, were the biggest pranksters in the school. It was also well known that if you saw the red-haired twins and their dirty-blonde haired friend Alexis coming towards you trying to look innocent, it was best to run and hide. These three, occasionally accompanied by the dreadlocked Lee Jordan, were an unstoppable team of fifth year pranking extraordinaires, they could do almost anything, from changing every Slytherin students hair fluorescent pink to turning you into a canary with a simple sweet. The three Gryffindors had been relatively quiet with their pranks for a few weeks, with the reasoning of giving their fellow students time to study. Unbeknownst to most, the three pranksters had be spending the vast majority secreted in a back corner of the library, their heads close together pouring over numerous books, speaking in whispered tones and scrawling tiny notes in a code known only to them on their parchment. If anyone glanced at them it may have looked as though they were all deeply engrossed in a copy of _Intermediate Transfiguration _and furiously studying for their approaching Ordinary Wizarding Levels, but upon a closer look it was possible to see another book hidden behind the Transfiguration textbook. The librarian kept a close eye on them, she had kicked these three out of the library more times than she could count for any number of things ranging from trying to sneak into the restricted section to charming shelves of books to sing Christmas carols loudly every time they were opened. So far, they hadn't done anything wrong but she glared at them occasionally anyway, knowing that they were more than likely up to something.

And up to something they certainly were. Alexis jabbed at the book with her finger excitedly from where she sat wedged between the twins, drawing their attention to what she had read.  
"This is going to be the best thing ever!" she whispered excitedly.

"Shhh, settle. The vulture watches," George whispered, inclining his head slightly towards where he could see Madame Pince roaming the shelves glaring in their direction.

"Lex we will need ingredients for this. Keen to cause us a diversion so we can sneak into the greasy bat's secret stash?" Fred asked quietly.

"Well I _am _the best diversion maker ever so I suppose I don't really have much of a choice," she responded, poking her tongue at him, earning her a sharp jab in the ribs.

"Have you got everything we need from this?" George asked, gesturing towards the semi-concealed book he held open with one hand.

Alexis nodded and George took this as his cue to leave the table to return the book to the shelves. The twins and Alexis very rarely actually _borrowed _books from the library if they were using them for pranks, as this would give more proof to them actually _committing _the prank. By writing everything in code it made getting detention somewhat more difficult as the teachers had no proof that it had been their prank, although they were very rarely wrong.

Madame Pince followed George in an attempt to see what book they had been reading, but as soon as she turned her back on the other two the commotion started.

"FRED WEASLEY! YOU CANNOT KISS ME LIKE THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIBRARY! YOU KNOW WHERE THAT WILL LEAD AND THERE A PEOPLE HERE! AND INFRONT OF YOUR BROTHER OF ALL PEOPLE! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HAD THE BALLS TO TELL HIM YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH ME BEHIND HIS BACK! HOW DARE YOU!" Alexis shouted, successfully distracting Madame Pince from her stalking of George.

The librarian hurried towards them, scowling her infamous scowl and pointing towards the door as Alexis continued shouting incoherently at Fred, pushing him roughly in the arm, ignoring his weak attempts at protesting. As Madame Pince was distracted shooing his twin and friend from the library, George quickly slipped the book back into its correct spot and hurried outside to join them, throwing a quick wave and smile at Madame Pince who had spun around in hopes to catch him before he put the book back.

"Well I have to hand it to you Lex, you really are the best at diversions, that even distracted me for a few seconds and I was expecting something," George complimented once they were safely away from the library and the harsh stare and scolding of Madame Pince.

Alexis laughed and stopped walking long enough to execute a flourished bow followed by a few royal waves before skipping to join her friends again.

"Now I suppose we will just need to owl Charlie saying something along the lines of 'Charlie, Alexis doesn't love you anymore she just shouted out to half the school she was sleeping with Fred. This means you can come home more often without fear of her sinking her claws into you. Love always, your favourite little brothers Gred and Forge.'"

"How many times do I have to tell you I am NOT in love with Charlie?"

"At last count I think it was about 15987286 times," Fred said, scratching his chin as though trying to remember.

Alexis punched both boys in the arm as they laughed at their own joke. Fred and George had been claiming Alexis was in love with their older brother Charlie, a dragon keeper in Romania, for years, and although there may have been some truth to it, she vehemently denied it. The three friends continued their way to the Gryffindor common room in high spirits, excited for the weekend and their new prank.

Three days, two break-ins to Snape's potions storeroom and one secret trip to Hogsmede later, it was Sunday. Prank day. The twins and Alexis had woken early and snuck into the kitchens for an early breakfast before setting to work putting the finishing touches on their prank preparations. A few spells around the Great Hall and some very careful potion pouring later they went outside and took to their brooms in order to reach their favourite vantage place. A large window ledge seemed as though it was just made for these three to sit comfortably and watch their wide-scale pranks take place in the Great Hall without the risk of being caught, it allowed them to see the entire hall but as they had enchanted the window pane to be one-way glass, no one could see them. When 9am came around and the tables magically became laden with breakfast foods, the Great Hall was almost full, Fred, George and Alexis giggled from their hiding place as everyone below them started eating with reckless abandon. The hall was filled with indistinguishable chatter until one magically magnified voice could be heard from the teachers table.

"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world  
Life in plastic, its fantastic!  
You can brush my hair; undress me everywhere  
Imagination life is your creation."

Professor Snape looked alarmed as he stood singing, off-key, to the entire school. He looked around, looking for help, the culprits, an escape or all of the above. His look of alarm turned to outrage as he continued the song.

"I'm a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy world  
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly"

No sooner had these words left his lips and he turned blonde and was dressed in a tight-fitting pink dress and stilettos. The students roared with laughter and applauded as Snape continued the song. Soon more voices were heard, and as Snape held onto the table to prevent falling over in his newly acquired stilettos and continued singing, unable to stop or move from his table, attention turned to the Slytherin table.

" I've been missing  
your strawberry kisses  
coz nothing's as sweet  
the taste still drives me crazy

I've been wishing  
my strawberry kisses  
could fly through the wind  
to you from me"

The Slytherin students sang loudly while blowing kisses in the direction of all the other students as well as the teachers. Every time they blew a kiss, a large pair of lips would appear and shoot across the hall to kiss someone, that's when they realised they were all glued to the spot. Regardless of the amount of spells and tugging, every student and teacher was stuck to their seat until it was their turn to perform.

"Don't go breaking my heart," the Hufflepuff table started singing, becoming unstuck and moving towards the Ravenclaws, who all looked horrified as they figured out what was coming next.  
"I couldn't if I tried," the Ravenclaw table sang in response, pushing themselves away from the table to take the hand of a Hufflepuff.

The two houses began to dance around the room together, singing the duet.  
"Honey if I get restless."  
"Baby you're not that kind."

"Don't go breaking my heart."  
"You take the weight off me."  
"Honey when you knocked on my door."  
"I gave you my key," The Ravenclaws finished as they were spun in circles by their Hufflepuff dance partners.

"At first, I was afraid, I was petrified,  
Kept thinking, I could never live without you by my side,  
But then I spent so many nights thinking, how you did me wrong,  
And I grew strong and I learned how to get along," Harry Potter started from the Gryffindor table, kicking the breakfast dishes onto the floor with a clatter as he climbed onto the table.  
The rest of the Gryffindor table were then forced to join Harry, both in song and on the table, loud crashes echoed through the hall as every piece of cutlery and crockery on the Gryffindor table ended up on the floor.

Fred, George and Alexis were crying with laughter by the time the Gryffindors had completed their dramatic table-top performance, which was exacerbated by the look on Professor McGonagall's face as she once again tried to get up and found herself stuck. She looked along the teachers table, the look of terror on her face mirrored by the other teachers as they realised they were next.

"I've been working so hard,  
I'm punching my card,  
Eight hours for what?  
Oh, tell me what I got,

I've got this feeling,  
That time's just holding me down,  
I'll hit the ceiling or else I'll tear up this town,  
Tonight I gotta cut,

Loose, footloose kick off your Sunday shoes,  
Please, Louise pull me offa my knees,  
Jack, get back c'mon before we crack,  
Lose your blues everybody cut footloose"

By this time the teachers had removed their table and chairs with a simultaneous wand wave and had started dancing enthusiastically, including the still blonde Snape in his pink dress and stilettos. As the song finished, the three pranksters waved their wands and muttered a spell to set off the large amounts of fireworks they had secreted around the Great Hall. Several people screamed as the fireworks started popping, whizzing and banging around the hall, showering its occupants with multicoloured glitter, while others ran as soon as they realised they were no longer stuck in the hall.

A loud pop behind the pranksters caused them to flinch and turn quickly, eyes wide. Professor McGonagall stood behind them on the ledge, arms crossed and scowling.

"Professor before we go any further I would just like to point out that it's not possible to apparate at Hogwarts and therefore there is no way you can be here in our presence right at this moment."

"But on the contrary, Mr Weasley. I am the deputy headmistress and therefore I have certain privileged over the students, and other teachers as well for that matter. And to correct you some more I would like to point out that you cannot apparate _in or out _of Hogwarts, nowhere does it say anything about apparating _within _the Hogwarts grounds themselves. Now that I have cleared that up, you three must accompany me to my office immediately."

The three of them flew down and shouldered their brooms, grinning from ear to ear as they followed the well known path to McGonagall's office where they endured a string of threats and scoldings from their head of house.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" She asked, ending her rant.

"We didn't do nothing," Fred said, crossing his arms like a defiant child.

Professor McGonagall rubbed her temples, trying to refrain from reaching across the desk and strangling a Weasley, "Anything. Not nothing, anything."

"We didn't do nothing," George repeated his brother's words with a nod, putting his hands on his hips.

While it was well known that the Weasley twins were troublemakers and possibly the greatest pranksters that Hogwarts had ever seen beside Harry's dad, James, and the Marauders, it was unknown to most that Minerva McGonagall was positively infuriated by improper use of the English language, especially double negatives.

"Anything," she muttered again, closing her eyes.

"Anything what, Professor?" Alexis asked.

"You can't say 'I didn't do nothing', it's a double negative, you have to say 'I didn't do _anything_.'"

"But we didn't do nothing!" Fred, George and Alexis protested in unison.

"ANYTHING!" McGonagall yelled as she stood up from behind her desk, "YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"Oh… well… if you are so adamant that we didn't do anything, why are we here so you can yell at us and threaten us with detention McG? That hardly seems fair," Fred said seriously.

Professor McGonagall opened and closed her mouth a few times before sitting back down in her chair, rubbing her temples once more.

"Go, just go. 50 points from Gryffindor for that display in the Great Hall. No detention. Also, 60 points to Gryffindor for the correct use of a double negative."

Fred, George and Alexis grinned at each other and ran from McGonagall's office laughing.

_Hope you enjoyed it, let me know! _

_Princess Leasha. _


End file.
